I work within the UKCP ethical guidelines that stipulate that counselling conversations are confidential between clients and their counsellor. At your first session you and your partner will have the opportunity to ask me questions and share any concerns you may have about confidentiality.
It is not unusual for one member of a couple to have reservations about couple counselling and these will be explored and discussed openly at your first session. It might be helpful for you to ask your partner to read some of the information on this website to reassure them about how common couple relationships issues are, and what couple counselling can offer.
You can also let them know that I will be able to help you and partner to have constructive and supportive conversations about difficult and sensitive issues.
It can also be helpful to think about booking a first session just to explore together what the pros and cons of couple counselling could be for you as a couple before making a decision to attend a course of couple counselling sessions.
Download my guide How to Get the Most From Couple Therapy for more information about what to expect from couple therapy.
At your first session we can discuss together how frequently you attend couple counselling sessions which is usually fortnightly to begin with. Key factors in achieving useful changes to your couple relationship and/or situation are being able to attend regular sessions, and you and your partner having discussions in-between sessions about what you have been exploring and working on in the sessions.
At the end of a session I may make specific suggestions about conversations to have, experimenting with different ways of behaving, give you a handout to read, or suggest an exercise for you to do as couple. This way of working gives you opportunities to bring the work you do in sessions into your daily life together and build on it in between sessions.
There is no set timescale for how many couples counselling sessions you and your partner should attend but as a rule of thumb I have found that around session four clients usually have a good idea of whether the work is giving them enough of what is useful.
I always encourage my clients to give me feedback on what they are finding useful, not useful, or anything that may be bothering them about what is happening in their couple therapy work.
No, but I will help you to understand in a non-judgmental and non-blaming way how you may both be contributing to your couple relationship problems and dilemmas.
Understanding how you are both contributing to your relationship dilemmas will help you move away from blaming and judging each other and focus on what skills you both individually want to learn and develop for making a positive difference to your relationship and/or situation.
In situations where one or both partners, or a child in the family, may be at risk such as physical violence or self-harm I will be able to provide constructive and supportive guidance about what needs to happen for safeguarding, and to enlist any necessary help and support for everyone involved.
As a skilled couple therapist I pay a lot of attention to, and do my utmost to ensure that both partners are supported. However I also encourage my clients to always let me know if they feel that the work isn’t taking into account different perspectives and needs.
I have been offering online sessions for two years and since March 2020 due to Covid 19 had to move my practice to online only. In your first session I can assess whether there are any circumstances that may not be suitable for working online, but in my experience so far this has not been the case.
My fee is £120 for a 90 minute session. In my experience doing extended length sessions is helpful for couple work and also means that fewer sessions are necessary overall.